Day 83 - Over and under (achievers)

It has recently come to my attention that I am not the only person turning 30 next year. In fact, some people may already be 30. Or even older. As such, this blog (which harps on and on about turning 30) is a frightening reminder of how time stops for no-one. Except Marty McFly.

Oh well.

Anyway, just to make us all feel worse, here's a list of things that famous people achieved when they were 30. Actually, some of these things may make you feel better...

1. At age 30, Mark Twain published his first short story, "Jim Smiley and His Jumping Frog".

Firstly, how lame does that story sound? Secondly, this was his first story, and he was 30. His best writing years were ahead of him! After reading this blog, you probably think that my best writing years are ahead of me too.

2. Bill Gates was the first person ever to become a billionaire by age 30.

Yes, ok, he was the first person. But that doesn't mean that other people can't achieve the same thing. I, for example, have 83 days to match Mr Gates and become a billionaire. First I have to work out how eBay works. Secondly, I need something to sell on eBay. Thirdly...oh I give up. You might be rich, Gatesy, but do you have love? Do you? Oh, you do. Well, do you have all four series of Futurama on DVD? No? I win!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

3. At age 30, George W. Bush was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol near his family's summer home in Kennebunkport, Maine. He pleaded guilty, was fined US$150, and had his driver's license suspended.

And that guy became president (of the US, not Australia...although some would argue the point). So you see, you can totally be a screw up when you're 30 and still go onto great things. Well, maybe not great. But you can still be president. Ok, you can't be president of the US unless you were born there (sorry Arnie), but you can be president of other things. Like my fan club. Memberships are still available, by the way.

4. Before he was 30, Kirkpatrick MacMillan invented the first real bicycle.

I'm not sure if this one is actually true, but I hope it is. I reckon that Ol' Kirky was nearly 30, looked down, noticed a bit of a belly and thought, I'd better get fit. But in his day, spin classes at the gym just consisted of people turning round and round on the spot and getting dizzy for their trouble. So he invented the bicycle and never looked back (a shame, because he would have seen that he was holding up traffic).

Here are a few things we wouldn't have without Kirky's invention:
- BMX Bandits
- That feeling you get when you're driving along and you're in a hurry, but a cyclist is in front of you and just doesn't care. I could be a doctor going to an emergency. I'm not, but I could be.
- Stackhats
- Spokeydokes (look these up if you don't know what they are)
- Freakishly massive calf muscles
- That song by Queen that goes "I want to ride my biiiiiiicycle, biiiiiicycle...."
- Harley Davidson and the Malboro Man
- That scene where ET and Elliot fly